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Help for Families and Friends
Just as the problem gambler goes through phases, so do family
and friends. At first, they are easily reassured that the gambling
is OK. Family and friends may make excuses for the gambling
behavior, perhaps having some occasional worries. Then the bills
begin to pile up and the arguments increase. Family and friends
may bail-out the problem gambler, believing that it will be the
last time for borrowing money. However, the financial problems
do not go away and the resentments build. Anxiety and panic set
in.
Family and friends can learn ways to make changes in their lives
through support. They can start by attending counseling and/or
Gam-Anon.
-
Not blame themselves for the problem, but take responsibility
for their own lives
-
Distance themselves from the problem behavior
-
Restore normal life
routines
-
Confront and cease enabling behaviors
-
Reinforce appropriate actions
for recovery
Are You Living With a Compulsive Gambler?
Gam-Anon
20 Questions
- Do you find yourself constantly bothered
by bill collectors?
- Is the person in question often away from
home for long, unexplained periods of time?
- Does this person ever
lose time from work due to gambling?
- Do you feel that this person
cannot be trusted with money?
- Does the person in question faithfully
promise that he or she will stop
gambling; beg, plead
for another
chance, yet
gamble again
and again?
- Does this person ever gamble
longer than he or she intended to, until the
last dollar
is
gone?
- Does this person immediately return
to gambling to try to recover
losses, or to
win more?
- Does this person ever gamble
to get money to solve financial difficulties
or have unrealistic
expectations
that gambling
will bring the family material
comfort and wealth?
- Does this person borrow money
to gamble with or to pay
gambling debts?
- Has this person's reputation
ever suffered due to
gambling, even to the extend
of committing illegal acts
to finance
gambling?
- Have you come to the
point of hiding money needed for
living expenses, knowing that
you and the rest of the
family may
go without
food
and clothing
if you
do not?
- Do you search this
person's clothing or go through his
or her wallet when
the opportunity
presents itself,
or otherwise
check
on his/her activities?
- Does
the person in question hide his or her
money?
- Have you noticed
a personality change
in the
gambler as
his or her gambling
progresses?
- Does the
person in question consistently
lie to cover
up or deny his
or her gambling activities?
- Does this person
use guilt induction
as a method
of shifting
responsibilities
for his
or
her gambling
upon
you?
- Do you attempt
to anticipate
this person's
moods, or
try to control
his or her life?
- Does
this person ever suffer
from
remorse
or depression
due to gambling,
sometimes
to the point
of self-destruction?
- Has
the gambling ever
brought
you to
the point of
threatening to break
up the
family
unit?
- Do you
feel
that your life
together
is a nightmare?
If
you are living
with
a compulsive
gambler,
you will
answer
yes to
at least
six of
the questions.
Warning Signs – A
list of warning signs indicating a potential gambling problem.
Kansas Problem Gambler Help Line – Toll-free
access to professional and confidential help.
Gam-Anon Meetings – Group
support for family members of problem gamblers.
Additional Links – Helpful
resources for family members and friends.
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